Alleen, 2025 | oil on canvas, 150x220cm

This painting is a deeply personal exploration of grief and memory. It depicts me sitting with my grandparents at my grandfather’s deathbed, a moment of loss, but also reflection. While the background features a traditional Dutch pattern from Bunschoten-Spakenburg, its presence is tied to my own emotions rather than it having a link to my grandfather. The dark purple blanket, a color of deep mourning in this tradition, reflects the grief I was experiencing while painting.

My grandfather is the only figure in the painting that is looking at the viewer, an intentional choice to emphasize his solitude in his final days, a feeling that lingers with me as guilt. Poppies, scattered throughout the piece, symbolize him; some bloom, while others decay, mirroring how memories fade but never fully disappear.

Through this painting, I allowed myself to fully process and grieve his passing, using the act of creation as a way to navigate my loss and find closure.